


The "Surprise" Party

by BucksomeBarnes (Freckled_Halos)



Series: the Assembled Avengers Initiative [11]
Category: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Surprise Party, talkin about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 20:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15347670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freckled_Halos/pseuds/BucksomeBarnes
Summary: The gang all decides to pitch in and throw a surprise coming out party for Steve and Bucky after Steve's Fourth of July Speech in which he admitted they have been in love since the '30s. It sparks some important discussions and gives the team some fun down time...even if Clint spoils the surprise part of it.





	The "Surprise" Party

"Clint Barton could not keep a fucking secret if his life depended on it,” Bucky sighed, walking into their apartment where Steve was sitting quietly on the couch, reading.

Putting his book down, Steve smiled. “Pretty sure his life _has_ depended on it, Buck. It’s kind of part of the job.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, stepping clumsily out of his boots, bracing a hand against the wall. “Well he can’t keep the fun ones.”

“What’s up?”

Letting out a long breath, Bucky shuffled to the couch and flopped down onto it, leaning wearily against Steve’s right side. He looked at Steve out of the sides of his eyes, squinting. “They’re throwing us a surprise party.”

Steve started. “What? Why?”

Bucky rose an eyebrow and rested his socked feet onto the coffee table. “Because we’re public now. Clint said Natasha said she told you she would.”

“I didn’t think she was serious,” Steve groaned. “I told everyone not to make a big deal out of it. It’s not a big deal.”

“ _I_ know that,” Bucky replied. “But apparently it’s a big deal to everyone else.”

“I guess,” Steve mumbled. “But our friends all already knew.”

“I know,” Bucky repeated. “But Clint said they all want to acknowledge the ‘cultural impact’ your speech made on ‘the people.’ Which I do understand, and I know why that’s important and it was amazing, I just don’t get why there needs to be a party about it.”

“Pepper and Thor probably just wanted an excuse to plan something fun,” Steve grinned.

Bucky chucked. “Probably. I told Clint as long as there was food involved, we’d have a good time. I also told him to limit the number of rainbow decorations.”

Steve laughed. “Oh come on,” he began, nudging Bucky with his shoulder. “It’s the thing now. At least there’s a nice symbol and Pride instead of legal arrests and Nazis.”

Bucky sat up and looked at Steve. “Alright, fine, Mr. Debbie Downer, jeez.”

Steve shrugged. “Just sayin.’”

“Well, just act surprised when they spring it on us.”

Nodding, Steve asked, “When is it?”

Bucky smirked. “Next Friday.”

\--

It was the next Thursday night and Steve and Bucky were getting ready for bed. Bucky was in the shower, hot steam fogging up the mirrors and rolling out the open door.

Steve wandered in and called over the sound of the water, “how many people will be there tomorrow?”

“What?”

“The party tomorrow that we’re not supposed to know about. How big are we talking?”

Steve couldn’t hear the sigh that escaped Bucky’s mouth, but he was pretty sure there was one. “I don’t know, Steve. I didn’t ask.”

“How formal is it? Should we…dress nice?”

“I’m sure whatever you were gonna wear tomorrow anyway would be fine.”

Unsatisfied with the answer, Steve let out a “humph” and left the bathroom to look in the closet. Neither of them had much besides uniforms, sweats, and t-shirts. But they each had a few nice pairs of jeans and some button-ups, which seemed like a safe option for many occasions, including surprise coming out parties.

The shower turned off and Steve could hear the glass door open and close under the humming of the bathroom fan. Walking back into the bedroom, Steve watched as Bucky wandered out, naked and dripping, to grab a pair of boxers from the dresser.

“What are _you_ gonna wear tomorrow?” Steve asked, sitting on the foot of the bed.

Bucky gave him an annoyed, but amused look as he stepped into his underwear. “I don’t know, Steve. Why are you so worked up? You do events like this all the time.”

“Yeah, but they’re never about me and my personal life. Cap gets invited to public _soirees_ , not Steve.”

Bucky walked back into the bathroom, grabbing a comb and leaning in the doorway as he ran it through his wet hair. “I know you don’t actually like being the center of attention, but you hide it well. And it’ll be a bunch of your friends there, not anyone you need to impress. Plus,” Bucky smirked, “you look good in everything.”

Steve lowered his gaze and smiled to himself.  

“So stop worrying about it,” Bucky called, turning back into the bathroom.

Sighing, Steve stood to step to his side of the bed, unclasping his watch and plugging in his phone before settling in. After brushing his teeth, Bucky came back out, turning the bathroom lights and fan off with a yawn. He shook his hands in his hair a few times, trying to dry it slightly, flinging drops of water everywhere.

Letting out a long breath, Bucky flopped onto the bed next to Steve and clasped his hands together on his chest.

Steve shifted onto his side, tucking his hands up on the pillow under his left cheek. Looking up at Bucky with furrowed eyebrows he said, “they know we’re not gay right?”

Bucky’s head turned sharply. “What?”

Steve shrugged. “I mean, not that the semantics of any label is a huge deal, but there are a lot of other options, you know? Bi pride and all that.”

Bucky wrinkled his nose at Steve and laughed. “ _What?_ ”

“I mean, you _know_ ,” Steve started again. “I guess I can’t speak for you completely, but I know I’m somewhere in the middle. You’re the only person I’ve slept with, but I’ve obviously been attracted to both girls and—”

“Wait,” Bucky put a hand out and shifted this entire body towards Steve. “What did you just say?”

“I’ve been attracted to both girls and guys…?”

“No, no, the part about me being the only person you’ve had sex with.”

Steve looked up at Bucky, confused. “You…didn’t know that?”

Bucky stared back down at Steve, equally confused. “I mean, I knew that was the case before the war, but I guess I thought after you woke up…”

“Don’t you think I would have mentioned something?” Steve asked lightly.

Bucky shrugged. “I dunno. With the serums, neither of us can contract STDs, so I never really thought to ask for that reason.” He paused before guiltily adding, “and I guess I probably didn’t really want to know the answer anyway.”

“Well,” Steve sat up, resting his elbow on the pillow and setting his head in his palm. “How many people have _you_ had sex with?”

Bucky’s face got a touch darker as he answered, “not _that_ many.”

“I don’t care, Buck, I’m just curious. I don’t think I actually know.”

Bucky sighed and looked around the room, avoiding eye contact. “I mean, there were a few back in the day. And then there were a few…more recently.”

Steve’s stomach roiled at the thought of Bucky being forced as the Winter Soldier to do anything like that and he immediately regretted asking. “I’m sorry, Bucky, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay, Steve,” he replied gently. “It wasn’t that many, but sometimes it was the easiest way to get a target alone, male or female.” Steve stomach rolled again. “You know that shrink Tony has been forcing me to see? She keeps saying I need to ‘talk about my trauma’ to ‘reframe my negative thoughts.’” He rolled his eyes, but softened his expression when he saw the stern look Steve was giving him. “I’m okay. I’ll tell you if there’s something I don’t want to talk about.”

“Okay,” Steve said quietly.

As he often does in serious situations, Bucky redirected the conversation, a mischievous smile spreading on his lips. “You remember that blonde bombshell who lived down the street from me growing up? Elizabeth something...?”

Steve’s eyes widened, “Lizzie Davis? You had sex with _Lizzie Davis_?”

Bucky made a nonchalant face, but the attitude behind it was glaringly obvious.

“She was a few years older than us,” Steve said, unbelieving.

“Yeah, but I hit my growth spurt early and she took notice. She was my first.”

Steve laughed. “Oh, poor Lizzie. Must have been really disappointing.”

“Hey!” Bucky fake pouted. Steve was expecting a witty comeback or scathing joke, but instead, Bucky just said, “our first time was pretty good, though, wasn’t it?”

Smiling, Steve replied, “yeah, it was.”

“That was—”

“My seventeenth birthday.”

“All the built up tension,” Bucky laughed. “I mean, it wasn’t our first time doing _anything_ , but…”

Steve pushed himself closer, nipping at Bucky’s ear, whispering, “it was the first time you fucked me.”

Bucky flared his nostrils and took a trembling breath in and out. Steve pulled back and Bucky looked at him, brown eyes wide. “That was also the first time you said you loved me.”

Blushing, Steve laid his head on Bucky’s bare chest, setting a warm hand on his soft stomach. “Yeah, well…I did. And you said it back.”

Chuckling lightly, Bucky draped his arm around Steve’s broad shoulder. “Of course I did. I loved you too. Still do, God help me.”

Steve laughed as he rolled backwards to switch off the lamp on his side table. Bucky did the same and they repositioned themselves, Steve tucked up in Bucky’s arms.

“Tomorrow will be fun,” Bucky whispered, rubbing up and down Steve’s back. “We’ve been through worse.”

Steve snorted at the oversimplification. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

\--

Pepper, Thor, and Clint were gathered in the entryway of the facility Friday evening, conversing quietly about how exactly they were going to lure the men of the hour into the lounge. It was thirty minutes ‘til go time.

Just then, Steve and Bucky stepped hand-in-hand out of the elevator immediately off the foyer. Steve had decided on boots, dark wash jeans, and a deep purple button-up under his brown leather jacket. Bucky had combat boots on under old blue jeans and sported a black Henley with the sleeves rolled up, a leather fingerless glove slipped on his metal hand.

“Oh, hey guys,” Steve smiled.

Clint narrowed his eyes at them, immediately suspicious.

“Good evening, Steve, Bucky,” Thor replied. “What are you two up to?”

Bucky shrugged innocently. “We just thought we might go for a nice long motorcycle ride. It’s so nice out—”

“No!” Thor shouted quickly. “I just mean, it’s getting late, why not go another night?”

“It’s beautiful out tonight,” Steve started, eyeing Clint who was getting increasingly agitated. “Don’t worry about us.”

“Yeah, even if we’re gone for a nice long while,” Bucky added, sneering.

Pepper was looking between all four men, crossing her arms. Turning to Clint, she asked, “Barton, did you fuck this up?”

Bucky laughed as Thor’s head whipped around to stare at Clint, personally offended.

“I’m _sorry_ ,” he yelled, throwing his arms up. “It just slipped out!”

Thor grumbled incoherently as Pepper ran a hand down her face, sighing. “Clint…”

“It’s okay,” Steve laughed. “I’m sort of glad we got a warning anyway.”

“Yeah and sudden flashes of light and a room full of people yelling doesn’t quite put me in a partying kind of mood,” Bucky added.

Pepper smiled tiredly at them. “At least act surprised?”

“Of course,” Steve said.

Looking at her watch, Pepper let out a long breath. “Eight-oh-four. Alright, we have a little over twenty minutes until people are expecting you. Thor, now that they know—” she shot another glance at Clint “—we don’t have to worry about the excuse to get them down here, so do you just want to walk in with them? Barton and I will go ahead now and make sure everything’s all set.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Thor replied, walking to stand behind Steve and Bucky, slinging his arms around their necks.

“Great,” Pepper smiled. “Come on, Clint.”

As they walked down the hall towards the common rooms, Clint’s spouted half-assed apologies and excuses became more and more faint. Bucky snickered.

Twenty minutes later, Thor led Steve and Bucky down the hall, past the stairwell, and paused a few feet away from the entrance to the lounge.

Thor suddenly wrapped both Steve and Bucky in his arms, squeezing tightly and whispering, “I am honored to call both of you true friends.”

He pulled away, both Bucky and Steve slightly taken aback, when Thor winked at them before dramatically calling, “yes, friends, let us have a drink or two, just the three of us!”

They turned into the lounge, the lights flipping on as dozens of friends and colleagues excitedly shouted, “surprise!”

“What is this?” Steve asked, high pitched and awkward. Bucky tried not to laugh at him as he just widened his eyes, feigning shock.

Natasha, Sam and Tony stepped forward from the small crowd.

“We just wanted to do something special for you two,” she said.

“Yeah,” Sam added. “And I know this has just been your guys’ lives for pretty much ever, but y’all did a really cool thing. Steve, for someone who’s as much of a man’s-man American icon as you, it’s a big deal. I can guarantee that you’ve changed some people's lives. We know it’s not easy—some people here know that better than others—so, congrats. We love you guys.”

“You definitely ruffled the feathers of some old fashioned conservatives and gave a huge ‘fuck you’ to their bullshit, out of touch stereotypes,” Nat smirked. “And that alone deserves celebration.”

“I honestly wasn’t sure you had the balls, Rogers,” Tony teased, bounding over to give Steve a hug. Bucky and Tony weren’t the closest of friends, but Steve was touched to see him give Bucky a genuine hug too. Bucky looked a little surprised, but returned the gesture.

“Thank you, all of you,” Steve replied, glancing over to Bucky, who nodded in agreement.

Clint started chanting “speech! Speech! Speech!” garnering laughs from the room to which Steve called, “I already did that part, isn’t that what started this whole thing?!”

When the noise had died down, Steve continued, smiling. “We grew up in a time where we never could have publically come out and to stand in a room full of peers _celebrating_ that same thing is really special. This country isn’t where it could be yet, we can always improve, and while it wasn’t my original intent, I hope this sparks conversation in homes and communities who wouldn’t have talked about it otherwise.”

“For all kinds of people,” Bucky added, flushing slightly at all the friendly eyes on him. “There’s a whole bunch of other options besides ‘straight’ and ‘gay,’ so bringing that up is important too.”

Someone in the back of the crowd ‘whooped.’

“Alright! JARVIS,” Tony started, stepping back and clapping his hands together. “Let’s get this party started. Music please.”

Loud, brassy swing emanated from the room’s speakers and Steve couldn’t help but smile, taking Bucky’s hand in his.

The guests broke up, some going to relax on the couches, some sitting at the bar top, some milling about, grabbing hors d’oeuvres from the trays carried around by hired wait staff.

Tony smiled then turned away to wrap his arm around Pepper’s waist, leading her towards the bar.

Natasha was looking at Steve and Bucky, a subtle expression on her face. Nat wasn’t one to show much of any emotion, but she and Steve had been friends long enough for him to know she was genuinely happy. She walked towards them, giving Steve then Bucky a warm hug. Looking between them, she pulled a weary smile before walking away to find Clint.

“This is going to be one of those schmoozing kind of nights, isn’t it?” Bucky asked quietly. “With a lot of hugs.”

Steve turned to look at him, smirking. “It’s not ‘schmoozing’ when it’s with your friends. But, you’re probably right about the hugs.”

They began to make their obligatory rounds, visiting each group of party guests, making small talk and saying their thanks before moving on. They had gotten through the Fantastic Four, Hank Pym and Jan Van Dyne, T’Challa and Rhodey, a few groups of X-Men, and a select favorite gathering of SHIELD agents, including Maria Hill, before collapsing on an open couch.

Sam wandered over and settled down next to Steve, a beer in his hand. “So, how’re the meet-and-greets going?” He smirked into the rim of the pint glass before taking a swig.

Bucky groaned.

“We’re both really touched so many people showed up just for us, aren’t we, Buck?” Steve raised his eyebrows at Bucky.

“No, it is nice,” he agreed. “Just tiring. I don’t know half these people as well as you do, Steve.”

“That doesn’t make it any less tiring,” Steve smiled.

Sam took another drink before saying, “I’m really happy for you, man. Both of you. I know you didn’t want anyone to make a big deal out of it, but it’s important. And, hey, any excuse to have a party, right?”

Steve smiled and Sam returned a toothy grin.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Captain Little Ass,” a voice called from behind the couch.

Steve whipped around. “Carol?!”

Holding her arms out, Carol Danvers smiled wide. “It’s me!”

“Holy shit,” Steve laughed, jumping from his seat and bounding over to give her a bone crushing embrace. He pulled away, holding onto her shoulders. “I thought you were based on SWORD’s space station.”

“I was. Am. But I happened to be earthbound to visit Jess this weekend anyway and...where is she?” Carol looked around the room for a few seconds before finding her target and waving her over.

Weaving through guests, Jessica Drew made her way to Steve and Carol, carrying two full glasses.

“Hey, Steve,” she breathed, handing one of the glasses to Carol, giving her a peck on the cheek.

“It’s good to see you, Jessica.”

“Ditto,” she smiled, taking a sip.

“And come on, Steve,” Carol gestured between her and Jess. “You think _we_ would miss a coming out party? Wait…that said, why didn’t anyone throw one for us? What the hell?”

Steve laughed. “Next time you’re on earth, we’ll put something together.”

“It’s not the same if you have to ask,” Carol teased, smirking.

Turning back towards the couch, Steve caught Bucky’s eye and motioned him over. “I don’t think you’ve actually met, Bucky, have you?”

Carol shook her head, swallowing a large swig of her cocktail.

Walking up, Bucky stuck his hand out, shaking both Carol and Jess.’ “It’s nice to finally meet you, Colonel.”

Carol smiled softly at him, “I’ve heard so much about you, Bucky. Even before you…came back, Steve could never seem to shut up about you.”

Bucky laughed heartily and looked at Steve who playfully rolled his eyes, flushing faintly.

Carol raised her glass. “Welcome to the queer hero club, boys!”

“Still not used to hearing that word used in any positive kind of way,” Bucky mumbled.

“These are changed times, my friend,” Carol answered, placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Bi pride right?”

Bucky started, turning towards Steve who was laughing. “I thought that was just some shit you made up.”

“It’s a thing,” Steve shrugged.

\--

They spent the remainder of the evening conversing, eating, and drinking. By one a.m., the sizeable crowd had dwindled down to just a few guests and the inhabitants of the Avengers facility, excluding Hulk. They sat together in the middle of the room, some splayed on couches, come cross legged on the dark hardwood floor.

“Did either of your families know?” Pepper asked from the far couch, Tony sitting next to her, his hand resting on her bare thigh.

Steve, arm slung around Bucky’s neck, turned towards him, face wrinkled in thought. “Your sister knew, right?”

“I never explicitly told her, but yeah, I think she figured it out.”

“I didn’t know you had siblings, Bucky,” Pepper replied.

Bucky smiled sadly. “Just one. Becca. She was few years younger than us. A real spitfire—you would’ve liked her.”

Pepper smiled sadly back. “Was it hard? Hiding it?”

“In a way,” Steve started. “Once we were over eighteen, I think people were more confused about why Bucky wasn’t going steady with anyone. A lot of our school buddies were getting engaged, while handsome, intelligent, gentlemanly James Barnes was just hanging around _me_. Ironically, it was a lot easier overseas.”

“It was a lot less suspicious to be seen together so much when you’re deployed and surrounded by men all the time,” Bucky added.

“Honestly, I don’t think we ever actually talked about it. About us.”

“You never DTR’ed?” Clint chuckled, sitting against the front of a couch, between Natasha’s legs.

“What is DTR?” T’Challa amusedly asked from an armchair.

“’Define the relationship,’” Sam answered.

Bucky furrowed his brows in thought. “I don’t think so. I don’t remember ever sitting down and deciding we were dating or whatever.”

Steve adjusted his arm, blushing as he said, “it was always more than that though, don’t you think? You ‘dated’ a few girls when we were teenagers, that’s not really what we were doing.”

“What do you mean?” Carol asked from the armchair opposite T’Challa, Jess perched in her lap.

“I don’t know,” Steve reddened more. “It was just…deeper than that. And I think we both knew it without ever actually saying anything.”

“Aww,” Sam teased.

“Oh, shut up, Wilson,” Bucky joked back. “Steve could just never hide the fact that he was always desperately in love with me.”

The group laughed as Steve rose his eyebrows. “Oh, is that it? I’m sorry, who was the one that made the first move?”

“Whatever,” Bucky scoffed.

“Wait,” Carol started. “There’s a story there.”

Tony groaned as Thor smiled wide, adding, “Indeed! How did it all begin?”

“It’s complicated,” Bucky said, suddenly faltering.

“What he means is that he kissed me in an alley once when we were fourteen, then proceeded to ignore me for a week in a complete panic,” Steve laughed.

“I wasn’t in a panic,” Bucky mumbled.

“Were you guys…exclusive that young?” Jess asked.

Steve turned expectantly towards Bucky. “You want to explain how those next two years went?” Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes, not answering. Turning back towards the room Steve continued. “He went out with a new girl every few weeks, coming back to me in between each one.”

“What happened after those two years?” asked Pepper.

“Bucky finally decided he was tired of trying to impress someone new all the time, so he settled for me,” Steve joked.

Looking intently at him, Bucky responded, “Yeah, because choosing to be with the love of your life is ‘settling’ now, huh?”

Pepper gently pressed her hands to her cheeks, Tony groaned again, Clint and Thor smiled wide, and Carol and Jess let out an “aww.”

Steve flushed again, unable to take his eyes off Bucky, but painfully aware of everyone else around them. “When did you know?” He whispered.

“That you were _it_?” Bucky replied. “The moment I kissed my first girl and realized I wanted it to be you.”

Louder “awwes” erupted from Carol, Jess, Pepper, Sam, and Clint as Tony put his head in his hands.

“When did you?” Bucky asked back.

“The moment I saw you kiss your first girl and realized I wanted it to be me.”

“You two are impossible,” Tony mumbled, trying to act like he didn’t care, but the expression in his eyes said otherwise.

“To answer your question,” Steve began, forcing himself to look at Pepper. “It wasn’t until we were about sixteen that Bucky started to cool it with the ladies and hang around me a lot more.”

Bucky shrugged. “Pretty much stayed that way until…”

“’45,” Steve finished quietly.

“Wow,” Carol said. “So you guys were basically together for ten years before…”

Steve raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, I guess. I never really thought about it like that.”

“Do you have an anniversary?” Pepper asked excitedly.

There was a long pause before Bucky smirked. “July 4th, 1935.”

Steve’s face and ears reddened as he made a face at Bucky.

“I thought you never DTR’ed?” Clint sneered.

“What happened on that day?” Thor asked innocently.

Looking at each of their faces, Tony jokingly said, “don’t tell me that’s the first time you had sex or something.”

Steve turned even redder and Bucky tried to stop himself from laughing.

“Oh my god!” Tony yelled. “It totally is!”

The room erupted into laughter, Steve’s face softening and turning less pink.

As the room quieted down, Natasha gently said, “can I ask something somewhat sensitive?”

“Of course,” Steve replied.

“In the time you were together before the war started, what did you realistically picture your futures like?”

Both Steve and Bucky were quiet for a few long moments, Bucky staring at his hands in his lap and Steve looking intently at the floor in front of him. All eyes in the room were on them.

“We were just talking about this the other day,”* Steve stared quietly. “And I don’t know. We both knew the reality of our situation. I think we just wanted to hide from it as long as possible.”

“There was no plan,” Bucky put in. “Most of the time we were together, I tried to just focus on the Steve right in front of me. Because I never knew which time together would be our last.”

“That must have been difficult,” T’Challa replied, a serious look on his face.

Steve forced a smile. “It wasn’t always like that. We did have fun every once in a while.” Clearing his throat, he added, “And we don’t have to worry about any of that now.”

“Huzzah!” Thor said, cheerily.

The room quieted and Carol suppressed a yawn. Patting Jess on the thigh, they both got up out of the armchair and stretched.

“It’s getting late,” she started. “We should probably head out. Steve, I’m so glad I got to see you—it’s been too long. And Bucky, it’s nice to have finally met you.”

Steve slipped his arm out from behind Bucky’s neck and stood to give her and Jessica a warm hug. “Thank you for coming,” he said into her cropped hair.

“Of course.”

Once the two of them left, the rest of the group started to disband. T’Challa gratefully took a room for the night per Tony’s insistence and the two of them walked away with Pepper. Natasha and Clint left next, leaving just Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Thor in the lounge.

“Thank you guys again for all of this,” Steve said, giving Sam a long hug.

“It was our pleasure,” Thor responded. “Love is to be celebrated, especially one as strong as true as your own.”

Sam pointed a thumb at Thor. “Yeah, what he said.”

They got into the elevator together, Sam and Thor getting off at their respective floors before Steve and Bucky rode to the top. They walked down the hall, holding hands, and into their suite.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Steve asked as they stepped into the dark bedroom.

Clicking on his bedside lamp, Bucky replied, “no. It was nice.”

The warm yellow light illuminated Bucky’s olive skin, glowing through his hair, turning the edges gold. Steve stood at the foot of the bed, staring.

Bucky gave him a wary look. “What?”

“I love you,” Steve blurted out.

Looking at him with an unreadable expression, Bucky replied, “I love you too, doll.”

“And I am so lucky,” Steve mused, slipping out of his leather jacket.

“Well, yeah,” Bucky teased, taking his glove off and pulling his shirt off over his head. “Look what you get to go to bed with tonight.”

Steve smiled, watching Bucky saunter into the closet, stripping off his jeans. Bucky was pulling his hair up into a bun, tying it with the elastic from around his wrist, when Steve stepped over and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s torso. 

Nuzzling his face into the crook of Bucky’s neck, Steve sighed. “All the shit we’ve had to deal with. All the hell we’ve had to live through. All the suffering you’ve been forced to endure. And we’re still here. Together.”

Bucky locked his arms around Steve’s shoulders, pressing him close. Burying his face in Steve’s soft hair, he murmured, “and will be. Forever.”

Pulling back Steve clasped his hands together on the small of Bucky’s back. “Was that true? What you said about wanting your first kiss to be with me?”

Bucky set his forearms on Steve’s shoulders, gently scratching the back of his neck. “Of course it’s true. I didn’t quite understand what I was feeling at the time, but I knew in my heart and in my gut that you were special to me in a way different than anyone else.”

“You know, I thought about that alley kiss for weeks after it happened,” Steve smiled longingly, glancing down at Bucky’s lips.

“Me too,” Bucky sighed. “I thought about it while I was kissing other girls. When I was in bed at night, alone…” he gently ran his fingertips along Steve’s pink lips, the pit of Steve’s stomach flipping. “Remember our first real kiss?” Bucky asked, his eyes sliding up from Steve’s mouth to his bright eyes.

“Yes,” Steve breathed.

“Your mom wasn’t home,” Bucky whispered. “We were just listening to the Dodgers game on the radio after school.” Steve closed his eyes as Bucky rand his hands through his hair. “It was late in the season and we beat the stupid Giants 7-2 and we were so excited.”

“I practically jumped in your arms,” Steve replied, almost inaudibly, his eyes still lightly shut.

“Our faces were so close and we just looked at each other for a few seconds before…”

Steve felt Bucky’s lips against his, gentle at first, until he pressed forward with more force. Steve parted his mouth, letting Bucky’s tongue slip in. Steve slid his hands up and down Bucky’s bare back, slowly, dragging his fingertips along warm skin. Placing his hands on either side of Steve’s face, Bucky licked into Steve’s mouth with more urgency, clacking their teeth together. Steve sucked at Bucky’s bottom lip, biting it, knowing it would make Bucky moan. Steve kissed along Bucky’s mouth and jaw, up to his cheeks and nose, lips lightly brushing his eyelids before settling slowly on his forehead.

Bucky let out a long, wistful sigh, dropping his hands from Steve’s neck to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. Sliding his hands inside, Bucky moved from Steve’s stomach to his chest and shoulders, down his arms, pushing the shirt off to fall to Steve’s feet. Steve pulled off the tank top he was wearing underneath and dropped it to the ground.  

They licked into each other’s mouths, Bucky sucking on Steve’s tongue as his hands continued to roam around Steve’s chest. Steve let out a shaky breath before gasping as Bucky pinched one of his nipples between metal fingers.

“Buck…”

Bucky dove in again, biting and sucking at the soft skin of Steve’s neck. Removing his hands from Bucky’s back, Steve reached down to undo his pants and push them down, awkwardly stepping out and kicking them to the side with his socked feet. Bucky’s hands immediately went to Steve’s ass. Slipping under the waistband of his briefs, Bucky pawed at Steve’s soft skin. Steve groaned and returned his hands to Bucky’s back, slowly scratching up and down the length of his spine.

Bucky hummed and arched his back, head falling backwards and eyes gently closing. Steve leaned in and kissed at the length of Bucky’s exposed neck, licking and nipping as he moved up towards his jaw and back down towards his collarbones.

“Steve?” Bucky breathed.

“Hm?”

Bucky swallowed hard, leaning his head to the right as Steve kissed along the side of his neck. “I’m sorry it took me so long to finally get it.”

Steve gave him one last peck before pulling away to look at Bucky staring intently at him. “Get what?”

“You. This. Us.” He placed his hands lightly on either side of Steve’s flushed face. “You were always there for me when I needed you. And I’m sorry it took me so long to finally just…commit to you.”

Steve gave him a melancholy smile, resting his hands on Bucky’s hips. “We were kids, Buck. I was confused too, I think I just figured myself out a little bit before you did. But I didn’t mind waiting—you were all I wanted. And deep down, I knew you felt the same way, whether you could articulate that yet or not.”

Bucky’s hands fell to Steve’s shoulders. “You didn’t deserve that, though. Me jerking you around all the time, just coming to you for make outs and blow jobs when I wasn’t getting them from some girl...”

Steve let out a sigh. “I knew I deserved and wanted more and it did piss me off sometimes, I’m not going to lie about that. But I couldn’t say no. When you’d come sneaking into my bed after you decided you were done with whoever it was that week, I could never resist you. It was a shitty cycle, but I just wanted to take whatever I could get from you, even if it was sporadic and desperate.” Steve rubbed his thumbs into the sensitive skin at Bucky’s hips and smiled. “And, hey, you got there eventually.”

Bucky ducked his head, looking guiltily at Steve from under his eyelashes. “Better late than never, right?”

Steve laughed lightly and leaned in to give Bucky a gentle kiss. “Better late than never.”

“I’m just glad we have the time now for me to make up for all of it,” Bucky whispered, giving Steve another peck.

“I don’t know, Barnes,” Steve began, eyeing Bucky with a cheeky grin. “It’s gonna take a lot. Years and years of being together, countless make outs and blow jobs, massages, favors, parties—”

“Alright, alright, Rogers, cool your jets,” Bucky laughed. He slipped his fingers in between his hips and Steve’s hands, grabbing them and bringing them up to his mouth. Kissing Steve’s knuckles, his expression turned more serious. “You are my everything, Steve. You have always been my rock, my constant, my support…even when I didn’t deserve it. _Especially_ when I didn’t deserve it. I love you more than anything in this world and I want to spend the rest of my life trying to be the person you deserve. No matter what it takes, I want to be that for you.”

Steve looked at Bucky with a pained expression. “Bucky, you already are that person. You always have been. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs and it hasn’t always been fun, but you’ve always been there. The on-and-off girls only lasted a few years and Carol was right—there were almost ten years after that that you were only mine. I think that time alone more than makes up for every stupid thing you did at fifteen.” Steve squeezed Bucky’s hands. “I know it’s easy to forget the nice stuff and to remember all the bad shit, but there was so much good stuff, Buck. There was. Nine years of it. So don’t _try_ to be anything. You already _are_.”

Bucky closed his eyes and pressed his lips together, squeezing Steve’s hands back. Steve leaned forward and gave Bucky a soft kiss on the forehead.

“Sometimes…sometimes I still can’t believe I have you back,” Steve breathed, voice cracking slightly. “I lost you. And there are no words to explain how I felt…watching you fall—” Steve stopped suddenly, clearing his throat, trying to maintain his composure. Bucky looked at him, his expression absolutely torn up. “When I saw you again, I was elated. Confused, but so fucking happy. Then you didn’t remember me. Or who you were. And it was like losing you all over again.” Bucky wiped a silent tear off of Steve’s cheek.

“I’m here now,” Bucky whispered. “Once I saw you, for the first time in 70 years, something shifted in me. Just seeing your face, Steve, overrode decades of Hydra programming. And when I finally started to piece things together and I finally remembered you…I remembered me. Finding you again was finding home.”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut as a few more quiet tears ran down his cheeks. Bucky’s throat tightened as he pulled Steve into a crushing embrace, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck. Steve’s hands knotted into Bucky’s hair as his body trembled. Bucky rand his hands soothingly up and down Steve’s back, murmuring softly and brokenly into Steve’s ear.

They stood together for some amount of time—neither of them knew exactly how long. Eventually, Steve pulled away, eyes slightly red and sniffling. Bucky looked at him with a glassy expression, smiling as genuinely as he could manage.

Resting his forehead against Bucky’s, Steve whispered, “I love you. So much.”

“I love you too,” Bucky replied, running a hand through Steve’s hair. “It’s been a long night. Let’s get to bed, huh?”

Steve pulled a small smile, taking a step back. “Yeah. Yeah, bed sounds good.”

They both lazily brushed their teeth before Steve picked his discarded clothes off the floor and put them in the hamper along with both of their pairs of socks. Bucky redid his hair and Steve splashed cool water on his face and neck. They laid down before Bucky clicked his lamp off, sending the room into darkness. Rolling onto their sides, Bucky pressed his chest up against Steve’s broad back and wrapped his metal arm over his torso, hand resting on Steve’s chest. Steve cocooned up, tucked safely into Bucky’s embrace, feeling like a teenager again, during one of the happy times. They fell asleep quickly, warmed by each other’s bodies and by the knowledge that they have the rest of their lives to live like this—together.

**Author's Note:**

> * Reference to the last piece in this series, "What Could it Have Been Like?"
> 
> I need to stop feeling the need to apologize for the cheesiness I write lol this is fic, it doesn't have to be realistic all the time. Sometimes it can just be cute and fun. 
> 
> (((EDIT: I had a Dodgers detail in this piece that I made a note of here, but after I thought more about it, it didn't make sense timeline-wise, so I changed it. Now, it's referencing a September 1932 game just btw haha)))
> 
> Side note about my Bucky: I love Seb and his face, but I just melt over the idea of brown-eyed, freckled, dimpled, hairy, Mediterranean-looking Bucky Barnes, so that's how I write him <3
> 
> Also, I'm getting really into their timeline from 1930 onward and I've gotten some positive feedback about expanding upon that, so let me know if that's something you'd be interested in seeing. I could include a work in this series (because its all the same canon) and just add however many chapters? Maybe year by year? I don't know, let me know if that has potential. 
> 
> Lastly, as always, thank you for reading! It keeps me going. Writing makes me happy, Steve and Bucky make me happy, and I'm just so glad that I can share some of it with others. Plus, this whole journey of Steve slowly coming out to people, and then everyone, has helped me personally, so that's pretty cool too. But yeah. Thanks for being here and for reading my stuff and liking it (hopefully...!) <3


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